Remembering the Spousal Sacrifice

As I write this, yesterday was Valentine’s Day. As a veteran of law enforcement work dating back almost forty years now, I can’t begin to tell you how many Valentine’s Days I worked. For those on the street it’s usually just another day. Even administrators don’t get the day off. They go to work and plan to take something home to their spouse (if they think about it). A dinner out is planned. A card, some flowers, maybe some chocolate… The really creative ones make, print and staple a “coupon book” together entitling their spouse to an assortment of treats. It’s a way of making up for all that our spouses are forced to deal with as we work – and that’s the topic of this entry. All too often we forget about the sacrifices our spouses make as we work the streets.

It starts well before we’re married and it’s not as hard on them. When you’re dating someone and you have to work, you’re just at work. They work too and if your schedules don’t mesh, then it’s not that big of a deal when you’re not together. You get together when you can, scheduling dates as both schedules permit. When you can’t… you’re just not together.

As things get more serious, the time apart becomes more noticeable. Special events start requiring you to take leave to guarantee that you can be there. Far too many special events have been interrupted by a text or call requiring you to go to work. Those significant others who understand give you a hug and a kiss, a forced smile and some words about looking forward to seeing you when you get back. Those significant others who don’t understand and can’t manage the lifestyle eventually break up with you or fade away.

When you start living together, whether it’s due to marriage or just the next level of commitment, all of a sudden the time you’re not home is far more noticeable. It’s more “in your face” to your significant other. It was one thing when you were dating and if you were late coming home from a shift due to a late arrest, a car accident, etc. it wasn’t that big of a deal. Now that significant other is home waiting for you… wondering and worrying what’s happened that you’re not home. The ones with vivid imaginations might be worrying about the phone call they don’t want to get or, worse yet, a knock on the door.

Those extended days, late nights, and overnights that turn into early mornings all take a toll on our significant others. Obviously Valentine’s Day isn’t the only day we should be displaying our appreciation for that they tolerate and support us through, but it’s the one day we’d better not forget. It’s a day we should go out of our way, when we can, to express our appreciation for the support our significant others provide. We should make special plans; pick out truly meaningful cards and perhaps buy two dozen roses instead of one. It’s the one day you should go out of your way to express how much you never want to take them for granted.

So… did you?