Public Safety Children Feeling Our Pain?

A recent article outlining a study done on New York City school children 6 months after 9/11 showed that children with a first responder parent directly impacted by the tragedy had higher incidents of psychopathology, namely posttraumatic stress disorder (PTSD). These were children who were not directly exposed to the trauma but showed an increase of mental health issues based solely on their parent’s occupation. This study was a representative sample with a larger longitudinal study in the works to look even more closely at the impact of man-made violent acts on the children of first responders. Unfortunately, I was unable to find whether the full study had been concluded yet, but Christina Hoven, a researcher published several peer-reviewed articles on the topic. Her research asked a number of questions about how this data could inform pre and post-vention strategies for children of first responders, not just as a result of trauma from an isolated incident like 9/11 but also the cumulative trauma first responders suffer from.

One of the questions Hoven asked researchers to consider as a contributing factor is what children think about their parent’s occupation. Do they have anticipatory anxiety on a routine basis about the threat their parent faces? How do our children view what we do? An interesting piece of the research is that EMT’s children had the highest percentage of psychopathology. In fact, 18.9% of EMT’s children had PTSD after 9/11 even without any direct exposure. Police children were next and were still higher than the average, followed by fire fighter children. This information lends itself to a number of professional questions which is great for the Ivory Tower, but what does it mean for us and our families?

After reading the article, I started wondering about what my children thought me being a first responder. I remembered a comment one of my sons made as I was running out of the door in the middle of the night after my pager alerted me to a structure fire. He was curled up on the couch and he said, “When you go into the fire, you have to come out because I’ll be hungry.” I know it sounds trite but like most public safety families, mine has a strong foot-hold in sarcastic, dark humor. I laughed and continued out the door. But what was behind that statement? Fear? Anxiety? He might not be the one facing the flames but he was definitely feeling some feels about it. Our children are affected by the things that we witness and especially by the way that we bring these things home.

Mirroring Distress

Everyone that works in public safety is affected by the work that we do. We see horrible tragedies. We experience the deepest of the dark human emotions. We see grief, loss, hatred, jealousy, you name it. And, we are expected to remain neutral about it. We can’t get wrapped up in the emergency. So, we handle our normal human reactions by learning not to have them. Of course, that takes a toll. A heavy toll. Just look at our unhealthy coping mechanisms and our suicide rates. We aren’t suffering alone. There is no way that that internal strife is not affecting the household including our children. The first responder study showed that our children are being adversely affected by parental distress. So, if we don’t learn how to take care of ourselves, our children will suffer. As a mother that hits me hard because there are times where I will put my own needs aside. So, if I’m told that I need to eat healthy, exercise or seek mental health support for my children’s sake, I’m more likely to do it. That’s fine. Whatever it takes.

Peaceful Environment

As I finished reading this study and thinking about second-hand trauma on first responder children, I was scanning my LEOW support sites. What I found was interesting because two of them were discussing whether or not police spouses should listen to scanners. The resounding opinion was definitely not! Proud Police Wife stated, “It can create more worry and fear. If you hear your spouse’s voice on the scanner, you will worry. If you don’t hear your spouse’s voice, you will worry. It is like a never ending cycle.” Code4Couples agreed explaining that scanners bring a level of anxiety into the home. Basically, you’re inviting chaos and that coupled with the first responder parental distress being mirrored to our children, they are at a distinct disadvantage and their mental health will suffer.

As first responder families we want to do what’s right for our children. We want to protect them from the tragedy and despair that we experience on a daily basis. Unfortunately, what research is showing is that our children are being affected in ways we don’t even notice. The first step is recognizing that what we do can affect our children negatively. And this doesn’t even include the negative messages police children are getting from society and the media on a daily basis. What we can do is be aware that our jobs matter to our children. We need to make sure that we are taking care of ourselves so we are not inadvertently passing on our distress and cumulative stress to our children. We need to practice good self care and teach our children to as well. We also need to provide a calm, safe place for our children. We can talk to our children about what we do to help alleviate their fears. Let them know about the happy stories or the positive things that occur while you are at work. We have a tendency to only share the war stories and our children hear those. Make an effort to talk about how people are being helped by what you do. Have age appropriate discussions about the dangers of your work and the training you receive to mitigate this. Share how your colleagues are there with you and have your back. Finally, don’t bring the work home. I agree with my fellow LEOW that scanners are an awful idea. Mainly because it’s emergency after emergency. Children don’t have the capacity to understand that their parent isn’t going to every one of these calls. It’s overwhelming and frightening. And, personally I find the tones grating and would prefer to listen to some rock n’ roll. Whatever you do, just remember that our children are sponges. So the more functional and healthy we are the more functional and healthy they are. And we all benefit from that.